Well here we go again. It has been a VERY long time since I have even touched this blog. The idea was to give me a place to reflect and work on keeping off the 110 pounds that I had worked so hard for 2 years to get off. Unfortunately, I didn't keep up with my blog and I also didn't keep the weight off.
I have struggled with my ALL of my life. I remember being relieved in kindergarten that there was another heavy girl so I wasn't the only fat person. I weighed 100 pounds by third grade and was over 200 by the 7th grade. I grew up in a family where everyone is morbidly obese, except for my little sister. I still haven't quite figured out how she managed to escape it. After college I finally decided I had to do something about it and joined LA wightloss. It took me 2 years but the weight came off and I reached my goal of 165 pounds. I was able to get into a size 8 jean and for once I weighed less than my sister, we won't mention she was 9 months pregnant at the time. I was feeling pretty good and was so proud of myself.
After working for 2 years to get 110 pounds off it started to gradually creep back on. I gained 25 pounds back fairly quickly after I stopped running. I thought that I was making healthy choices but the cookies and the cakes began to call to me again and I would give in. After gaining that 25 pounds I pretty much stabilized and I was happy being a size 14 and felt great. As long as I was under 200 pounds I was awesome. I stayed there for about a year with no problem at all.
In the end of 2008 I met the love my life! It was so amazing being with him and having such a great time dating, aka eating out a lot! It also didn't help, that he was and is an amazing cook. In the 7 months we were dating/engaged I put on 15 pounds thinking oh it's just because we have been eating out so much I will lose that no problem. However, a month after we were married I found out I was pregnant! We were so excited and when I went to my first doctors appointment I discovered I had gained yet another 15 pounds! I was a little mortified at that fact but thought it will be okay I get it off after the baby is born.
I actually maintained my weight for the first 5 months of my pregnancy. I thought I was doing pretty well, though I spent the last 3 months of that only being able to keep down grilled cheese sandwiches and baked potatoes. Once I could eat regular food again I let myself go, not a good idea! By the time my sweet little girl was born I had packed on 50 pounds and weighed the most that I had ever weighed in my entire life!
I thought that's okay we can get this back off. Right after she was born I dropped 20 right off. Now she is 9 months old and instead of losing weight I have gained 10 pounds back! It is kind of horrifying to know that after 2 years of working my tail off I am now only 3 pounds away from where I started then.
So here I am back at my blog to have a place to be accountable. I may be the only one who ever reads this but I have to do something. On top of being disgusted with myself every time I look in my closet full of clothes and realize there are only about 6 shirts and 2 pairs of pants in there that currently fit me, I found out my mother was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This fact has kicked me back into gear to get this weight back off once again.
This time I am simply going to track calories in and calories out. I have the LoseIt application on my iPhone to keep track of what I am eating each day. I am also going to log on here at least 3 times a week to keep track of my weight but also my struggles and triumphs as this journey begins yet again. This time I am doing it for my daughter and my husband, so I can be around to spend forever with them both, but I am also doing this for me. I am worth it! I am worth every once of effort to be healthy and full of life.
I know I am not the only one in this world struggling to conquer a weight problem though right now it feels as if I am all alone and the edge of a precipice. I just hope that whoever my happen across this blog might be encouraged to begin the hard journey of living a healthier life.
No comments:
Post a Comment